Why You Should Stop Saying Sorry So Much…
I want to start this by clarifying: this lesson is not about refusing to apologize; it is about living free of shame.
For as long as I can remember, I began prayers the same way, “Lord, I’m sorry.” Every single time, even when I didn’t really have anything to apologize for. Shame had made its way into my life when I was young and seemed to only grow with me. My earliest memories consist of abuse and crippling shame, and there have been moments when, upon looking in the mirror, I could almost see the shame cloud my features along with my mind. Since following Christ, He has helped me with this tremendously, reminding me through His word that because of His sacrifice on the cross, I am forgiven, not guilty, and forever innocent in God’s eyes. There are seasons in my life when this truth is palpable, just so very real, and I walk into any room and circumstance with confidence. But then, like the seasons change, clouds roll in and bring with them that familiar darkness and doubt. During these times, my struggle for confidence feels like I’m climbing Mount Everest (if I don’t get in God’s Word first thing in the morning, then the rest of my day is a bust.)
Last week as I began to pray, I said what I usually do, “Hey God, I’m sorry…” and before I could say another word, I felt Him speak over me: “I wish you would stop that. Sorry is not who you are, not anymore. I have redeemed you and I’m not going to change My mind about wanting you. I wish you would stop praying like I will stop loving you at any moment and rest in the truth that I have always loved you and I always will.”
Breathless, I responded, “But God, what about when I make a mistake? What about the struggles I still have?”
Again, He spoke over me, “Mistakes are something you will always make, and something I will always forgive the moment you ask Me to. Mistakes are not who you are. Repent, know that you are forgiven, and then move on, my love.”
“If we [freely] admit that we have sinned and confess our sins, He is faithful and just [true to His own nature and promises], and will forgive our sins and cleanse us continually from all unrighteousness [our wrongdoing, everything not in conformity with His will and purpose].”
– 1 John 1:9 AMP
“Therefore, since we have been justified [that is, acquitted of sin, declared blameless before God] by faith, [let us grasp the fact that] we have peace with God [and the joy of reconciliation with Him] through our Lord Jesus Christ (the Messiah, the Anointed). Through Him we also have access by faith into this [remarkable state of] grace in which we [firmly and safely and securely] stand. Let us rejoice in our hope and the confident assurance of [experiencing and enjoying] the glory of [our great] God [the manifestation of His excellence and power].”
– Romans 5:1-2 AMP, footnotes included
My, how “sorry” can so quickly become a state of being if we aren’t careful. Shame likes to masquerade as a lot of things, one of them is religious piety. However, following Jesus means stepping outside of the boundaries of “religion” and into a relationship – one where we don’t need to keep proving ourselves over and over and over again. A relationship where we just get to be loved… no matter what. This bond we have with our Savior is stronger than any mistake we can make, so there is no shame in making them anymore. We don’t have to be perfect! We can just come to God any time and say, “Hey God, I love you. I love you so much. Thank you for loving me and teaching me how to be loved. Thank you for being so good to me.” And if you have anything to repent for, say, “I repent of… Thank you for the blood of Jesus that makes me clean. I receive the forgiveness He won for me. I know You will love me and I love You, too.”
“See what an incredible quality of love the Father has shown to us, that we would [be permitted to] be named and called and counted the children of God!”
-1 John 3:1 AMP
Repentance is an act that cleanses our soul and refreshes our walk with God.
Being sorry all the time is what happens when we stew in the shame of our mistakes for too long.
It’s important to know the difference if we truly want to receive God’s forgiveness!
Dear friend, in all of my years of literally being sorry, believing that in my “sorry-ness” I was being humble, I never knew the kind of life I was missing out on. Humility in its purest form is thankful. I have begun to replace all of my “I’m sorry”s with “I repent of…” and phrases like, “Why am I this way?” with “THANK YOU GOD FOR LOVING ME ANYWAY!”
“While we were still helpless [powerless to provide for our salvation], at the right time Christ died [as a substitute] for the ungodly. Now it is an extraordinary thing for one to willingly give his life even for an upright man, though perhaps for a good man [one who is noble and selfless and worthy] someone might even dare to die. But God clearly shows and proves His own love for us, by the fact that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Therefore, since we have now been justified [declared free of the guilt of sin] by His blood, [how much more certain is it that] we will be saved from the wrath of God through Him.”
– Romans 5:6-9 AMP
Here is the very best news, lovely one: You have NOTHING to be sorry for. You are NOT a sorry person; you are a redeemed one. You are a forgiven child of the Most High King, and He will always love you. He will always forgive you. Repent when you need to, and know that you are cherished always, always, always! I am so done being sorry! Are you with me?
Love you,
- Kelly
