We All Have A Petty Side…
Hey there, lovely friend!
Today I would like to talk about pet-peeves. Let’s start with the truth, shall we? We’ve all got our list of things people do that, in the moment, feel like an annoying pebble lodged in our shoe. And, with every passing year the list only grows, doesn’t it? The longer we spend in this world, the easier it is for those little things to get under our skin. But you know, lately my list of things that drives me crazy is actually starting to drive me crazy, ha! I don’t want to be so affected by each sharpened word and shift in my life. I’d like to feel steady, and rooted, and relatively unbothered… even by things purposefully intended to bother me. So, I’m bringing out the big guns and calling on the Lord to help me break away from a part of me I have come to call “Petty Betty.” Good gracious, there are days when Petty Betty can be loud and proud, the most obnoxious of divas, and I need divine help to bring her back down to size!
So, because you and I are friends, would you like to hear about some of my personal pet-peeves? However, before I just start listing them for your reading pleasure, I do want to tell you that Petty Betty really does mean well. You see, she’s trying to be my friend and demand the “justice” she thinks I deserve – it’s just that her focus is all wrong and her communication skills need work. With that said, here we go!
Petty Betty really hates it when people call me “baby girl” or “cutie pie” or any other cheesy, demeaning nickname while in a professional/ministry setting. She thinks a 26-year-old young woman deserves to be treated like an adult by now. When I took Betty’s well-intentioned advice to the Lord, however, He told me to focus on the names He has for me instead – names like Beloved, Redeemed, Image-Bearer, and Daughter of the King. (Well, shut my mouth and be still my heart!)
But Betty didn’t stop there, you see (because she clearly has issues, ha).
Petty Betty doesn’t like it when people read my God-inspired teachings and dishonestly try to pass off my words as their own. Truthfully, I thought Betty was right to feel this way. She was being my friend, after all. I mean, there’s a word for taking credit for someone else’s written work, plagiarizing, and it is wrong indeed. But then I took our complaint to the Lord and He reassured me that people may take my God-given words, but they can’t touch my God-given anointing. Each one of us have our own purpose and calling, and my unique grace to do what I have been called to do will stay mine. (See Jeremiah 29:11 and Ephesians 2:10)
Petty Betty loves to encourage me to over-react when I feel pressured into decisions before I am ready. In a powerful contrast, God tells me that I am no victim of circumstance. He empowers me to say what I mean, to let my “yes” truly mean yes, and my “no” mean no (Matthew 5:37). The Lord is helping me to become a decisive person – which means less frenzy, and more faith.
Betty tells me to pound on the horn and step on the accelerator when someone cuts me off in traffic (because sure, that’ll teach them). The Lord of love says to breathe deeply instead, to be still and stop rushing – I’ll get there.
Petty Betty tells me to go ahead and throw a fit over something left out of place at home. God reminds me how badly I feel when someone points out every mess I make by mistake. He asks me to be more like Him – slow to get angry and criticize, lightning fast to understand and give grace (See Luke 7:47, Ephesians 4:32, James 1:19).
Petty Betty really does try to be a friend, but she usually ends up intensifying drama and inflating my pride. Her advice has led me to send harsh messages to people who have wronged me instead of letting the Lord be my Vindicator. Her advice has left me huffing and puffing and rolling my eyes, frustrated beyond belief over something I’ll forget about next week. Petty Betty tells me it’s okay to do things that I feel in my gut are not right – to push back, answer insults with zingers of my own, and make sure people know not to mess with me. But all of that verbal violence is one cheap substitute for the wholesome and enjoyable life God has waiting on the other side of impulsiveness.
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”
- 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 NIV
So, my friend, (because I’m trying to be a real friend here) I’m going to be honest with you about Petty Betty. She’s only telling you what you want to hear, not what you need. Her advice feels good for one all-to-brief moment, but it is God who seeks your ultimate good. And, His ultimate good for you leads to goodness not just here on earth, but in eternity, too. Truth be told, the last thing on Petty Betty’s mind is tomorrow, let alone your eternity!
I think it’s high time we un-friend Petty Betty, don’t you? She can never add to our lives, only drain life away.
But hold on, wait a minute. We all know who Petty Betty really is, don’t we? She is also known to us as pride and selfishness. The Bible has a couple of names for her, too. In scripture, Petty Betty is called our evil longings, flesh, and our carnal or sinful nature.
“So put to death and deprive of power the evil longings of your earthly body [with its sensual, self-centered instincts] immorality, impurity, sinful passion, evil desire, and greed, which is [a kind of] idolatry [because it replaces your devotion to God]. Because of these [sinful] things the [divine] wrath of God is coming on the sons of disobedience [those who fail to listen and who routinely and obstinately disregard God’s precepts], and in these [sinful things] you also once walked, when you were habitually living in them [without the knowledge of Christ]. But now rid yourselves [completely] of all these things: anger, rage, malice, slander, and obscene (abusive, filthy, vulgar) language from your mouth.”
- Colossians 3:5-8 AMP
Yup, this our inner Petty Betty at her ugliest! And truthfully, she is far worse than reckless, she is demeaning in our treatment of others and deadly to us. We call our pet-peeves by cute names to make light of our behavior, but really, these pet-peeves are not pets at all because they could never be housebroken. I’m going to be honest with you, Betty is a beast(and not the good kind). She’s no friend, she’s a fiend with sharp fangs. She wants to take over God’s place in your heart, up-root the spiritual fruit growing inside of you, and desires only what is best for her and no one else. If we are not careful, Petty Betty will be our un-doing.
Let’s continue with this passage from Colossians and receive God’s advice on how to break free from our tricky sinful nature: “So, as God’s own chosen people, who are holy [set apart, sanctified for His purpose] and well-beloved [by God Himself], put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience [which has the power to endure whatever injustice or unpleasantness comes, with good temper]; bearing graciously with one another, and willingly forgiving each other if one has a cause for complaint against another; just as the Lord has forgiven you, so should you forgive.
- Colossians 3:12-13 AMP
Petty Betty, or more seriously, my sinful nature wants to keep my focus on me. This fiendish part of me wants all of my decisions to be centered around what I feel, what I want, and how I am treated. And, once again, in a stunning and powerful contrast, each time I am mistreated, God stands with His hand outstretched, ready to help me see beyond all of these temporary annoyances.
“Beyond all these things (ahem… BEYOND them) put on and wrap yourselves in [unselfish] love, which is the perfect bond of unity [for everything is bound together in agreement when each one seeks the best for others]. Let the peace of Christ [the inner calm of one who walks daily with Him] be the controlling factor in your hearts [deciding and settling questions that arise]. To this peace indeed you were called as members in one body [of believers]. And be thankful [to God always]. Let the [spoken] word of Christ have its home within you [dwelling in your heart and mind--permeating every aspect of your being] as you teach [spiritual things] and admonish and train one another with all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs with thankfulness in your hearts to God. Whatever you do [no matter what it is] in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus [and in dependence on Him], giving thanks to God the Father through Him.”
- Colossians 3:14-17 AMP
Every frustrating moment holds within it an opportunity to become more like Jesus.
Reading through the Gospels, it’s easy to spot so many instances where our Savior could have gotten annoyed – He had to walk almost everywhere, legalistic busy-bodies were always criticizing everything He said and did, He hardly had any time to spend by Himself. Yet, we only ever see Jesus lose His temper once – when He saw His Father’s House being disrespected. This speaks volumes to me about what’s worth getting annoyed over! The only time Jesus let His anger loose wasn’t even about Him. Our Savior must have had pet-peeves, because along with being fully God, He was also fully human. He felt the impulses, but He didn’t let them take over. And this same self-control, this incredible willpower, can begin to blossom in us if we will zip our lips and give it a chance to grow. Jesus lives inside of us, and He will move in the midst of our frustrations if we will decide today to stop reacting impulsively to our pet-peeves and start responding righteously.
Our pride tells us so many lies – the biggest being that the best of life is taken and demanded. The incredible, life-altering truth of the Gospel is this: the best kind of life happens for us when we seek what’s best for others. We are called to be like Christ, and this means laying down our love of self for the sake of loving others. (Man, that hits you right in the pride-bone, doesn’t it?)
“I have told you these things so that My joy and delight may be in you, and that your joy may be made full and complete and overflowing. This is My commandment, that you love and unselfishly seek the best for one another, just as I have loved you.”
- John 15:11-12 AMP
Though this hurts like no one’s business, it really is for our benefit! Jesus tells us these tough truths so we can have His special brand of joy to the fullest, until it’s trickling down into every part of our lives. Which, you know, is what we really want, right? That life Petty Betty promises is something only Jesus can really fulfill.
So any ways, the big point I’m sharing with you, sweet friend, is this: your inner Petty Betty will never give you the life you want. She’s the miserable little creature who wants to make herself some miserable, petulant company. When you find yourself feeling miserable, silently resentful, or constantly annoyed by those around you – then you have probably been hanging out with your inner Petty Betty too much. Tell her to hit the road, and you, get your nose in your Bible! Get refreshed by the Holy Spirit. Take a moment and ask the Lord to work in your heart and adjust your attitude – trust me, He will! (Good gracious, will He! Get ready!)
“But the fruit of the Spirit [the result of His presence within us] is love [unselfish concern for others], joy, [inner] peace, patience [not the ability to wait, but how we act while waiting], kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such things there is no law. And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature together with its passions and appetites. If we [claim to] live by the [Holy] Spirit, we must also walk by the Spirit [with personal integrity, godly character, and moral courage--our conduct empowered by the Holy Spirit].”
- Galatians 5:22-25 AMP
How about we all stop and pray right now? Say this with me:
“Dear Lord, please turn my attention from what seems important to what actually is. Help me to surrender my idea of good so that I can have Your ultimate good. I can see now that I will never have a happy life if I make my life all about me. I don’t want to honk my horn and roll my eyes at people, but patiently love them as You have loved me. God, please forgive me for each time I have allowed Petty Betty to take control when I should have handed You the reigns instead. I surrender my rights and all I think that I deserve to You right now. Have Your way in my heart and in my life. Help me to respond righteously the next time I feel wronged. In the mighty name of Jesus I pray, amen.”
