Live Undefined By the Past
Hey there, lovely friend!
I would like to introduce you to two of our newest team members... headless mannequins we named Lucy and Ethel, ha! You might think it’s weird that we personified them, but hey - if something’s big enough to strap into a seat when traveling, they deserve names. That’s all I’m saying!
Anyway, earlier this year at an event, Lucy and Ethel helped me illustrate the difference Jesus has made in my life. You see, I used to wear layers and layers of shirts every day. I dressed for protection, not style. I knew that inside I was damaged, and when people looked at me they probably thought I was weird, but I didn’t know what to do about any of it. I used to sit and look at the popular girls in high school who would come into morning class laughing with their friends. They would carry their breakfast in one hand and their keys in the other. They looked so carefree... and I would sit and wonder how everything went so right for them, and horribly wrong for me.
I spent so much of my teenage years mourning who I could have been. I would ask myself, “Who would I have been if I was given different parents? How would I have turned out if I’d been raised with love and support? Who would I have been if I had a dad who loves me?” And one day in my senior year of high school, I felt the Lord speak over me, “But Kelly, you do have a Father who loves you. I have always loved you. Entrust your life to Me.”
I love what Romans 8 has to say about God being our Father, "And you did not receive the 'spirit of religious duty,' leading you back into the fear of never being good enough. But you have received the 'Spirit of full acceptance,' enfolding you into the family of God. And you will never feel orphaned, for as he rises up within us, our spirits join him in saying the words of tender affection, 'Beloved Father!' For the Holy Spirit makes God’s fatherhood real to us as he whispers into our innermost being, 'You are God’s beloved child!' (Romans 8:15-16 The Passion Translation)"
Fast forward to August 2018. I got up that morning and shook my curls loose, put on a dress, some sneakers, a little makeup. No layers of shirts and shame. No self hatred. No more wondering “what if.” It wasn’t until I had walked into the office, my keys in one hand and my coffee in the other that it hit me. God had made me into one "those girls" with all the laughter and confidence I had once desperately longed for!
The only difference between who I was then and who I am now is JESUS! Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not a “popular” girl or even all that trendy. However, I know that I’m loved. I don’t live in fear anymore. And best of all, I no longer wear the pain I have been through. Jesus has helped me become someone I actually like.
I spent a lot of years wondering who I might have been if my life had started differently. The Good News truly is that with Jesus, you really can be who you might have been. His love covers a multitude of sin and shame, layers of clothes, and years of abuse and neglect.
Friend, how you finish this life matters a whole lot more than how you start it. Who you become matters a lot more than who you used to be. You might not have felt loved or worthy or valued back then. But oh my goodness, you are all of these things right now! Thank God for a Savior like Jesus - who not only saves us from Hell, but also from the Hell we’ve been through!
"Yet even in the midst of all these things, we triumph over them all, for God has made us to be more than conquerors, and his demonstrated love is our glorious victory over everything!"
- Romans 8:37 TPT
Love you,
- Kelly
